I have received some feedback from a few people about my blog. Pretty happy so far with people have said. So would I like to say thanks to the people who read it. Feel free to drop a comment if you find anything interesting, want to spark a discussion about something or have any suggestions about anything related to the blog. And if you have a Google account feel free to click the followers link on the right hand side and pledge your allegiance to A Misspent Life

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Also I am in need of a banner for the blog. If anybody is bored and wants to cook me up one it will be much appreciated

So without further ado lets get down to business.

Who am I? What am I? Where am I? Am I really in Tokyo? Am I even awake? Have the past few years been a dream and I am really in the UK sleeping in my house in London? Am I even alive? Am I dead and this is hell? Is this my first time on earth? Or was I here 300 years ago as an Indian guy with a turban and a red dot on my forehead?

Once in a while I just turn it all off. The music, TV, PC, phone, the lot. I sit there and I think. What the hell is going on around me? What is the meaning of it all?

This weekend I will turn 25. That is a quarter century. I have been on this planet for a decent amount of time now. Looking back at my parents, their generation and the generation before they probably all had kids and full families at my age.

I sometimes look in the mirror and ask myself what the hell could I do for a kid? What could I teach a kid that is looking up at me saying “Daddy. Daddy!”?

I think in terms of maturity our generation is doing pretty badly. We have all the things they never had. An abundant of resources and opportunities but too many people just take it for granted.

I sometimes just sit at my desk at work thinking what is the meaning of all this. The monotony of it all. Go to work, come home sleep, have a little fun on the weekend, rinse repeat, THIS IS YOUR LIFE. Maybe I am doing it wrong. Maybe I am not putting enough effort into life and that’s why I feel like I am wasting away at times. But one thing is for sure, there is no way I can bear this monotony until I hit retirement and end up spending the rest of my days in a bingo hall.

But maybe that is our purpose. When I was young my Pops said this to me “In this world ain’t nothing going on but the rent.” At the time I didn’t take much notice since I was living at home for free and going to school so it did not apply to me. But now I have gained 100% independence I feel the meaning of those words every day. So maybe that is the purpose. To live a life that revolves around paying the rent with a few hobbies thrown in here and there. At this moment I just don’t know.

A friend of mine once told me that it is our purpose to procreate. Procreate? A family, a family name, a family tree, a bloodline, a heritage, a lineage. These seemed to be quite important to the older generation. Especially to males. Keep the family name alive. Keep my blood line alive so even when I am gone I have left my mark on this earth and I will be remembered.

To tell the truth I couldn’t really care too much about leaving my mark or anything like that. Obviously I care about my actual family but the name and stuff like that is not something I am really bothered about. Who the hell cares what retards and strangers think of me when I am dead? As long as my reputation does not cause trouble for the people I left behind, I couldn’t really care.

Maybe our purpose was decided before we were even born.

I was a doctor, your granddad was a doctor, your great, great granddad’s pet fish was a doctor, so now you must also become a doctor. That kind of thinking is still around. You see it a lot. Sometimes you are bound to a certain type of occupation or life based on the sort of work thegenerations before you have done.

Or sometimes even worse you are entrusted with the broken dream of a parent or family member. The father who wants you to become a tennis player because he failed to make it as a pro. Now he needs you to become one so you can live the dream that he failed to live for him…

Oops didn’t realize how long this was getting lol. Guess I’ll come back to this topic again someday.

Peace

Where would I be without you? What would I do without you?
You give me the strength to keep on going. Without you I would be hopeless…

I can’t deny it. I would be lying if I said that there were not a few nights where I laid in bed thinking that you are the only thing I had to live for.

How did it come to this? I have let you become my life crutch. Most of my life is spent waiting for you to come. When you come I am happy and when you go I am back to sad.

I need to find a replacement. I need to replace you. You have been good to me, but I guess you are just not enough. You are way too short. You are only two days. Only a mere 48 hours. But that is not even an accurate representation. When you take away sleep time you are much, much less.

I hate sleep. We waste too much of our lives sleeping. It would be cool if the clock stopped while we slept, or if we only needed 1 hour of sleep to tie us over.

I really hope they invent it someday. I would prefer it to be sooner rather than later though. Would be pretty pointless once I am in my 50s or 60s. I need it now while I am still young.

Although I guess I am not really young anymore. I am at best relatively young. I am at a stage in my life where if I don’t stay on top of things, I might wake up tomorrow 50, broke, lonely, singing “No woman, No cry” on a rocking chair on my front lawn.

But it would still be really cool if they could invent it. You know, a sleep replacement pill. Instead of going to sleep at night you would take the pill and it would be the equivalent to one night of sleep. Pretty awesome idea huh? Get back from work at 6-7 and still have 12 hours left to do your own thing before having to resume the rat race.

But I doubt they would make something like that. Probably not in their best interests. Just like it is not in their interests to cure aids or any other serious diseases.

It is Friday again. It is about 13:03 now. Just a little bit more to go. A few more hours and we will be together again. In a couple more hours it will be the weekend again.

2:30. That is the time I saw when I looked at my PC screen. I have a few different ways to find out the time in my house. My phone, PC, TV and laptop. But oddly enough I don’t actually have a clock in my house.

I was in a department store the other day. They actually had a floor dedicated to clocks. They had digital clocks, analogue clocks, clock radios, clocks of all different shapes, sizes and colors. There was one clock that did take my fancy though. It was a rectangular clock that had a map of the world on it. This clock could tell you the time in all the major cities in the world.

But on the downside the price tag was pretty ridiculous. It cost more than twice the amount of a more standard clock.

Buy a standard clock? Or spend a lot more on a clock that will do some pre-school arithmetic for me and tell me the difference between GMT 0 and GMT +9.

It is a toughie I tell you. But it makes me wonder what the world is coming to when it takes this much thought and deliberation to choose a clock to hang on the wall.

Before going to sleep I remembered glancing at the time on my PC and seeing 22:30. So boys and girls a quick pop quiz. If I went to bed at 22:30 and woke up at 2:30 how much sleep did I get (prizes if you guess correctly)?

My stomach started crying so I went over to the fridge. Midnight started getting excited. I threw three pellets into his cube and he devoured them promptly. Sometimes I envy you. The life of a fish must be stress free. Just swim around all day and wait for food. No bills, no problems, no nothing.

How many months have I had you for now? I guess you must be getting tired of pellets. It is all you have eaten since I brought you into my home. I guess I will run to the pet shop and see if I can get you some live feed as a treat.

That made me feel a little bit sad. Greed never got to experience anything other than pellets. RIP Greed. I am sorry I didn’t take better care of you…

I put my hand on my fridge door and was about to open it. Now boys and girls I have another pop quiz for you. I have not gone food shopping for 1 month. What is the chance (in percentage) that when I open my fridge I find any food?

I decided not to open the fridge. I am a bit of gambling man, but I did not fancy my odds on this one.

8:05 was the next time I saw a clock. It was displayed on the platform in the train station. My train is the 8:06. It was crowded as usual. I miss my old route. The train was not very crowded in the morning, although you would be hard pressed to find a seat. There was a guy that I called the scavenger who used to work my route. He would roam up and down the carriages looking for newspapers and mangas that people had left behind. I am assuming he would setup shop somewhere reselling them.

You have got to love the work ethic of the people in this country. Even the homeless are on their hustle.

My company is far from the station. The bigger slap in the face is that I have to walk up a steep hill. Walking up a steep hill first thing in the morning can be soul crushing. Especially when you have had close to no sleep. But yeah, I know, I know “It is good exercise”.

10:14. I am sitting at my desk writing this blog. Unfortunately, today I have to get some work done. Hopefully I can finish it really quickly and get back to writing blogs, speaking to people on msn/aim/skype/facebook and doing more constructive things with my time other than doing work at work.

I guess I should have titled this entry “Half A Day in The Life”…