I am posted up outside the station with my back against the wall.  An old dude walking by suddenly stops in front of me. He doesnt turn his body to face me, he only turns his head.
Old Man: “grr grrr grr skdfs;j grr”

It is hot. I am in a shitty mood. I look at the dude and dont even answer him with words.
I give him the international facial expression for WTF!!??.

He clears his throat and speaks again. This time I can actually understand what he says. In Japanese he says.

Old Man: “You live at Complex X , Building No X right”

I looked at him again. Nup, an unfamilair face, never seen him before ever. I was worried for a second. Is he another undercover cop?
I looked a little closer. Nup, noway. Unless they are sending pensioners who can barely speak or walk into the streets to gather intelligence.

It is one thing when people you meet in the elevator that live in your building call out the floor you live at (Elevator Mind Tricks).
But when an old random dude who might not even live in my complex is calling that shit out all the way at the station it is slightly worrying.
With a slightly worried expression I turned and replied:
Prometheus: “Yes…”

He looked at me for 1 second, turned, and just walked off…
A few days later I get in to the lift. Some old dude gets in a few floors down.
He turns and looks at me angrily. I just ignore him. He tilts his head back, makes a disgusting flem sound and spits on the floor.
Why? Why would you spit in the lift that you have to stand in? Does it even make any sense???

Not only was the act disgusting, the sound he made as he cleared his throat made me wanna slit my own throat.

Remember the video I made of me playing slots in Hong Kong? That machine I was playing was hot. I was winning sick money. Then all of a sudden some fag comes and sits next to me and does some sick flem into the ashtray. Then starts hitting the machine violently screaming like an Afghan rebel. I had to cashout and leave the lucky machine to avoiding catching SARS or swine flu…
 
Whats with people in Asian countries spitting and making revolting sounds?

Anyway back to the elevator.

He spits on the floor. Turns to me, but this time he smiles. He had no teeth…

I dunno man. Next time somebody does that, I might just pull pants down and take a shit next to them -_-

Based on my past experience of going to a gym in Japan I knew that there would be a lot of people staring at me and wanting to poke me. Especially the old folk. Here in Japan there are 70 year old dudes at the gym pumping iron. Pretty impressive seeing that where I’m from most people that age are circling the drain on their last legs…

There was this one dude who seemed to be there every time I went. He looked like one of those busy bodies that knew everybody. He was always talking to a different person. He tried to nod his head and smile at me a few times but I just pretended that I couldn’t see him.

I know his type well. He is looking for an icebreaker. Once the ice is broken he will start trying to talk with me and get all pally pally. So I kept ignoring him and avoiding eye contact.

One day I was doing some bench presses. I did my last lift and sat up. It was a really hot day. I remember thinking to myself,“Woah, I’m parched”. I looked down to my left and saw an unopened bottle of sports drink.

Wait a minute, time out!!

There are only two possible ways that this drink could have gotten there:

1) The power of the mind. I was so parched and needed a drink so badly that I somehow willed it out of the vending machine and next to my foot.

2) I bought it but forgot about it.

Using logical deduction I came to the conclusion that it was neither of the above. I looked around and saw dude smiling. “Fuck, he got me” is what went through my mind. He came over and said, “For you”. I tried to say no thanks but he insisted and wouldn’t take it back -_-

So long story short ever since then dude is always trying to talk to me and keeps randomly throwing me drinks…

I have been watching a cool TV series called Criminal Minds lately. A team of FBI agents who make profiles on criminals. Here is my profile on the dude from our brief interaction:

“I don’t know his age but I think he is in his late 20s or 30s. He is about 5 foot tall. He has no job. He told me that he wants a girlfriend but is too pussy (chicken) to talk to women. He goes to the gym everyday and stays from 10am till closing time… “

I try not to judge people or anything but dude is a bit …

It is good to be dedicated about something. But when you aren’t training for the Olympics and you don’t work at the gym, what excuse do you really have for spending all day everyday there?

I think a few times he tried asking me what my plans were and then tried hinting he would like to tag along LOL. I obviously shot him down. I kinda feel sorry for dude. A part of me wants to take him under my wing, help him get laid, get him addicted coke and basically just help him get a life..

But part of me wants to just tell him to fuck off and never come near me again… However, the gym is pretty small and I don’t really want the awkward vibes… 

It is not that I am anti-social or anything. I just wanna pump iron for an hour or so in silence and then go home…

I think I messed up by taking the drink. I should have just left it untouched and walked away…

I sold my soul for a bottle of sports drink

Anybody in any weird predicaments with people that they have to be cool with even though they don’t want to be?

I can stomach it if I don’t have to see the person again/often, but when they are at a place you go to on a regular basis….

I hate having to fake being nice…

Elevator Mind Tricks

I live on the 8^th floor. Got a pretty nice view of Shinjuku at night time. All those red flashing lights. I can’t wait until it gets a bit warmer. I will buy a few chairs and sit out on my balcony using my laptop.

I have two elevators at the entrance of my building. They are normally quite busy. It seems like the elevator software normally keeps one at the ground floor and one on the higher floors. The people in my estate are not too kind with the lift in my short experience. It seems like as soon as they get half way into it they have already pressed the button to close the door.

I guess it is not that big of a deal. But it sucks when you are literally 5 foot steps behind someone, but by the time you get to the lift the person and the elevator are already long gone. I don’t know, but it would be nice to like just take a quick peek left and right before u hop in and check if anybody is around before blasting off to the 10^th floor.

Once in a while I will see someone getting into the elevator and sprint to it and press the button just before the door has fully closed. The shocked look on their face as they see the shutting doors go in reverse and little old me walking in with a smirk on my face is so awesome.

But, apart from the no waiting for people policy I have had quite a few interesting encounters in elevators in my building.

I already spoke of the one where the old dude asked me if I was the “Guy” who lives on the 8^th floor.

The day I moved in, I was moving my stuff up in the elevator and some old dude was in it with me. I remember our conversation was something like:

Old Man: Hi.

Me: Hi.

Old Man: Are you married?

Me: …um no…

Old Man: Have you been in Japan long?

Me: umm.. not so long.

Old Man: How much is your rent?

Me: (what the!!??)

This was literally the first time I ever rode the elevator.

There was another time when I woke up at 5am and was going to the shop to buy breakfast because I had no food in my house. I got in the elevator and the person in the house next to me got in as well.

Person: Good morning

Me: Morning

Person: Do you always wake up this early?

Me: umm. Yeah

Person: Are you on your way to work.

Me: No I am going to the 100 yen shop…

Person: Me too.

We both got out of the elevator and the person just walked off without saying anything. It was pretty funny because after asking me a million and one questions we both walked to the same shop about 1-2 steps away from each other with the person acting like they didn’t know me…

On Saturday night I dropped my chick to the station, bought some spaghetti and was about to cook it. I realized I had no onions so I decided to run to the shop. I got in the elevator but heard footsteps so I decided to wait a few seconds. Someone came and we both rode.

Old Lady: You are from India, right?

Me: (WHAT THE!!??) No.. I am from the UK… And I am black..

Old Lady: There are a lot of Indians aren’t there?

Me: (huh??!? What does that even mean) um…!??..

There is an Indian family next door to me so maybe she was getting confused or something. I don’t what she meant by there are a lot of Indians. Was she talking about our building? The country? I haven’t the foggiest…